Valentine’s Day is the time for expression and one way to do so is a Valentine’s Day jokes. When love is in the air, we’re sure that cupid is also ready to stir some laughs and there’s no better way to do so than with funny Valentine’s Day jokes.
You can share that day with your special someone and someone you love. It can be a day where you simply express your care for those who mean a lot to you. Best of all, it is a day where you can share some laughter with family and friends too.
Here are some Valentine’s Day jokes that you’re sure to love and laugh over.
112 Valentine’s Day Jokes
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1. How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
2.Where’s the best place to get a date on Valentine’s Day?
The supermarket.
3. What did the sock say to its Valentine?
You and I make a great pair.
4. How can you tell that a calendar is so popular?
Because it has so many dates.
5. What did one boat say to the other?
I love our row-mance.
6. What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener!
7. What did one sheep say to the other sheep on February 14?
I love you baaaaaaack!
8. What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day?
Happy Independence Day!
9. Why did the lemon go out with a prune?
Because it could not get a date.
10. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
11. What did the snowflake say to its Valentine?
I’ve fallen for you.
12. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day?
You can always count on me.
13. What did the pencil say to the paper on Valentine’s Day?
I dot my “I”s on you.
14. What do squirrels say to each other on Valentine’s Day?
I’m nuts about you!
15. What did the gambler say to his sweetheart?
You’re like my favorite card in a deck: the king/queen of my heart.
16. What did the flame say when he met the love of his life?
I found the perfect match!
17. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Because they are very scen-timental.
18. Why are we like chips and avocados?
You guac my world!
19. Don’t worry about paying rent!
You can live inside my heart for free.
20. If I were a cat,
I’d spend all nine lives with you.
21. Why do you need a charcuterie board on Valentine’s day?
It’s the best way to say brie mine, Valentine.
22. How do chefs show their love?
They whisk you off your feet!
23. What do you call a romantic ship?
A courtship.
24. How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine’s Day?
You locket.
25. What did the stamp say to the Valentine’s card envelope?
I’m stuck on you!
26. What did you say about a late Valentine’s Day gift?
It’s choco-late!
27. What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day?
I turt-ally love you.
28. What does Nicolas Cage say on Valentine’s Day?
You’ve caged my heart.
29. What did the month of October say to its Valentine?
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
30. What did the calculator say to the other?
You can count on me.
31. Is your name Chapstick?
Because I think you’re da balm!
32. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
33. Do you have an ice pack?
I bonked my head falling for you.
34. How do you tell a pig on February 14?
Happy Valen-swine’s Day!
35. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
36. How did the phone propose?
With a ring.
37.What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valen-tiny!
38. Why were the scientists a perfect match?
Cause they had great chemistry!
39. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?
Guppy love.
40. Why should you never laugh at your significant other’s choices?
Because you’re one of them!
41. Do you like Star Wars?
Because Yoda only one for me!
42.Why did the sheriff lock up her Valentine?
He stole her heart!
43.Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, February 14!
44. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
45. What did the octopus say to the other octopus on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
46. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A calendar.
47. What’s the best breakfast on Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche.
48. What did the baker say to his wife on V-Day?
“Gimme some sugar!”
49. What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?
“Bee mine.”
50. How do sheep share their feelings with each other?
By saying, “I love ewe.”
Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes
Valentine’s Day jokes can be entertaining since they frequently make fun of the holiday’s traditions and rituals. Since Valentine’s Day jokes focus on the ups and downs of relationships, the pressure to find the ideal present, and the general cheesiness of the holiday, many of the jokes are relevant.
51. What did one cantaloupe write to the other in their Valentine’s card?
“You’re one in a melon.”
52. What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit?
“I found the perfect match.”
53. Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches?
Tulips.
54. What message is on a Valentine’s day card for cats?
“You’re purr-fect.”
55. Why was the canoe considered a heartthrob?
He was so row-mantic.
56. Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?
Her heart wasn’t in it.
57; What did the magnet say to the refrigerator?
I find you very attractive.
58. What are insects called when they’re dating?
Lovebugs.
59. How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet?
By saying, “Hit me up.”
60. What do pieces of fruit write to each other in their V-Day cards?
“I love you berry much.”
61. What do online dating and online shopping have in common?
Sometimes you don’t get what you ordered.
62. What kind of flowers would your date question?
Cauliflowers.
63. How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond?
“I’m nuts about you.”
64.. Why are artichokes so loved?
They’re known for their hearts.
65. What do you call two sparrows who just got engaged?
“Lovebirds.”
66. What do you call a colourful heart that loves books?
“Well-red.”
67. How did the polite vegetable ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
68. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A calendar.
69. How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans?
They said it was a date.
70. What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re a big dill to me.”
71. How did one drum tell the other about its feelings?
“My heart beats for you.”
72. How did the coin propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a jingle.
73. Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine?
They were very a-peel-ing.
74. What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time?
75. What can get you in trouble with the law on Valentine’s Day?
Stealing too many hearts.
76. What did the painter say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
I love you with all my art.
77. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator?
He found her to be very attractive.
78. How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts?
Be single.
79. Why did the dad approve of his daughter’s goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper.
80. Where did the piece of wood meet its Valentine?
On Tinder.
81. Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
It was just puppy love.
82. What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid’s arrow?
“Ouch.”
83. How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine?
“Whale you be mine?”
84. Where did the high-heel take its date?
To the football.
85. What’s the best recipe for a perfect morning on February 14?
A hug and a quiche.
86. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you.”
87. Why couldn’t the mineral water ever get a Valentine?
All of his friendships were so pla-tonic.
88. When do bed bugs fall in love?
In the spring.
89. What did the plate say to the bowl on Valentine’s Day?
Tonight, dinner’s on me.
90. What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half.”
91. How do you contemplate your current and past relationships?
Organise the data and plotted it using an Ex-Axis and a Why-Axis.
92. What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine’s Day?
“Lovesick.”
93. Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day?
They’re so scent-imental.
94 Never laugh at your date’s choices. You’re one of them.
95. Man on a Valentine’s date: “Table for two please.” Waiter: “Do you have reservations?”
Man on a Valentine’s date: “Yes I’m worried it’s going to be expensive”
96. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, February the 14th.
97. A comedian is taking me out for Valentine’s Day.
I hope he doesn’t get any funny ideas.
98. How do werewolves send Valentines?
By hair-mail!
99. What did the porcupine say to his sweetheart?
I think you are porcu-fine.
100. What did the construction worker say to his Valentine?
I dig you a hole lot.
Valentine Day’s Knock Knock Jokes
Ready for more funny Valentine’s Day jokes? Here are some knock knock jokes that you can pull out on Valentine’s DAy.
101. Knock, knock.
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
102. Knock, knock.
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter pucker up Valentine!
103. Knock, knock.
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my Valentine!
104. Knock, knock.
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how much I love you?
105. Knock, knock.
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea mine Valentine!
106. Knock, knock.
Pauline.
Pauline who?
I think I’m Pauline in love with you.
107. Knock, knock.
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore do love you a lot.
108. Knock, knock.
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno that youre the love of my life?
109. Knock, knock.
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke who just got a Valentine!
110. Knock, knock.
Sherwood.
Sherwood who?
Sherwood love you to be mine.
111. Knock, knock.
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for your Valentine!
112. Knock, knock.
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas be my Valentine!
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